When I was in my late 20s (around 2005), I decided to follow my dream and become a fitness professional. I enrolled in a fitness instructor course, and that’s when I fell in love with the world of fitness—things like human anatomy, where you learn about muscles, their origin and function, exercise physiology, and energy sources (aerobic vs anaerobic). In 2007, I even got certified as an aerobics instructor.
I always dreamed of becoming a personal trainer. I saw how cool they looked in their smart sports outfits, working with clients one-on-one. But in reality, I found myself drawn to teaching group aerobics classes instead. Personal training requires a lot of sales skills, and I wasn’t that kind of person. I discovered that I had a natural talent for leading group workouts, following the rhythm of the music, and encouraging others to stay fit. I enjoyed being on stage and commanding people to move.
But being an aerobics instructor took a toll on my body. I suffered from knee, back, and toe injuries. My weight dropped significantly. As a full-time freelance aerobics instructor, I also realized how hard it is to make a steady income. Being a freelancer means that your monthly income isn’t guaranteed.
Around 2007, I decided to try something new. At that time, many government and uniformed services like the army and police had outsourced their fitness training to companies like Certis Cisco and Force 21. Although the pay was lower than what I earned teaching aerobics, it still gave me enough to survive when combined with my group exercise classes. On average, I was earning about SGD $2,000 a month.
But as I continued on this path, something I hadn’t really considered started to bother me. My old school friends, from polytechnic and secondary school, were earning way more than me. While I was making $2,000 a month, many of them were earning $4,000 or $5,000—or even more.
Then, things got worse after COVID. The pandemic hit hard, but I was lucky to receive some government support. During that time, I enrolled in a UI/UX course under the “SkillsFuture United” program, which reimbursed me $1,200 a month. But despite my efforts, I couldn’t break into the UI/UX industry. It’s tough to enter a new field without experience—unless you’re willing to accept a low-paying internship, where you might be taken advantage of.
However, things did seem to improve a little in late 2022. I managed to secure a job as a gym manager at a polytechnic. The catch was that I wasn’t employed directly by the polytechnic but by a vendor who was contracted to manage the gym. As you might expect, vendors don’t always stay on contract forever. During the next bidding process, another vendor could win the contract and bring in their own staff. Fortunately, the new vendor decided to keep me on. But then, I made a big mistake. I struggled to adjust to the policies and procedures of the new vendor, so I resigned after just two months.
Since then, things have only gotten worse. I’ve been stuck with part-time jobs and relying on my savings to get by. I’ve realized I’m not the same energetic aerobics instructor I used to be. With age (I’m 48 now) and more competition from other types of fitness classes like Zumba and Piloxing, I can no longer keep up with the physical demands of those high-energy classes.
I also started to remember all the advice I’d ignored over the years. There was a feng shui and bazi consultant who once told me that I tend to ignore people trying to help me, and that I should focus on finding stable jobs. He warned me that freelancing wasn’t the right path for me. His predictions seem to be coming true now. I’m struggling with depression, and I’m constantly worrying about how to survive.
The hardest part is that my family doesn’t know I’m jobless. They still think I’m working at the polytechnic gym. It’s so stressful having to lie to them and pretend everything is fine when it’s not.
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